C-Suite

“Aiming for the C-suite, Claire?” This was the opening gambit of a LinkedIn DM from someone who - OBVIOUSLY - does not know me at all, even though he went right for the first name without so much as a hello. Anyway, no, I’m not aiming for the C-suite or any other suite that involves me directing anyone’s work other than my own. I’ve been a manager, and I’m not doing it again. Bro, absolutely not. 

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I didn’t respond, obviously. The person messaging me was recruiting students for an MBA program. I can think of a few things that I want to do less than return to school - for an MBA no less! - but only a few. And a five-minute review of my LinkedIn profile would have made this perfectly clear. He’s casting a very wide net, I guess, which is perfectly fair, but he needn’t expect a response from me. I’m a busy woman. If I engage in online correspondence with every joker who wants to recruit me for something, then I’ll never have time to sit around and write about absolutely gosh-darn nothing. 

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Well, not nothing. For example, yesterday (yesterday being Saturday making today Sunday) we set up a table at our annual community yard sale in the pool parking lot. I don’t recall ever having done this, even though we’ve lived here for just over 20 years, but my husband said that we did do it one other time, and I have no reason to doubt him. The yard sale was more fun than I expected. I set up a bin marked with a “Free Stuff” sign. I also had a little collection of those ceramic figurines that come free in boxes of Red Rose tea, and I invited little kids to pick one each. The kids were delighted to dig through the free stuff bin for treasures, and they were even more delighted to pick out a ceramic figurine. Three of the figurines were puppies - those were the first three to go. But there were also bears, Christmas trees, a bunny, a mermaid, and a sand castle. All of them have new homes now. I imagine that they’re displayed on children’s shelves or secreted away in treasure boxes. 

Oh, and we sold some stuff too - personal items and clothes, household items, books, a few gadgets, this and that. Some people bargained for lower prices - perfectly fair at a yard sale - but a surprising number of people just handed over the asking price for whatever they were buying. At the end, we gave some things away - including two flower prints to a fellow yard sale merchant who’d had a very slow morning, and who said that getting those prints made the whole morning worthwhile; and a couple of cute canvas tote bags and zipper pouches to my teenage girl neighbors, who were very pleased to have them. Then I tossed everything that remained in the free bin into the dumpster. I just can’t tell you how cathartic it is to launch things into a dumpster, one by one - especially when it’s a big dumpster, and you have to really fling stuff to get it high up enough to clear the top. That might have been the most fun I’ll have all week. Meanwhile, we had a very pleasant morning with neighbors, we cleared out some clutter, and we came home $128 richer. A resounding success. 

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We went to dinner on Saturday night with my husband’s mother and his sister and her family. It was a birthday celebration for my husband (September 4) and me (September 9). My niece made me a birthday picture - a white kitten in an ice cream cone with sprinkles. I love it so much that I put it in a frame. And then my sister-in-law and I each had exactly one more margarita than we should have. By the end of the evening, I was legitimately overserved, which is something I haven’t been for a very long time, and I don’t plan to be again anytime soon. 

I really should have suffered more on Sunday morning than I actually did. The FO was not nearly as bad as the FA warranted. Still, I slept a little later than I wanted to, and then woke up panicking about everything I needed to do. And then I just got up and did everything - no dilly-dallying, no shilly-shallying, no wasted time. By noon, I had blazed through a long list of chores, including prepping dinner and hanging up my now-framed ice cream kitten. 

What is better than getting everything done and then looking back with satisfaction remembering that feeling of overwhelm, knowing that it’s in the past? What is better than turning your to-do list into a done list? Nothing, that’s what. Gosh-darn nothing. Between the successful yard sale on Saturday and the burst of efficiency on Sunday morning, I felt like an absolute boss. You know what? I probably DO belong in the C-suite.