Cookie crumbs

We’re all out of cookies. It’s December 27, and all of the cookies are gone - eaten or given away. The cookies usually hold out through closer to the New Year, but this year they barely made it through Christmas. Cookies were really the only thing holding me together at the tail end of 2025. I guess I’ll have to resort to drink or hard drugs. 

I have to go to Philadelphia in a little while. Well, I don’t have to but I’m going; or rather, we are going. We’re staying overnight at my sister’s house. We’ll have dinner and open presents and sit around an outdoor fire. It’s always a lovely time, so I’m not sure why I’m dreading it but I am absolutely dreading it. I want to stay home. I want to sit around my own fire and look out my own window. One thing, though. My sister will have cookies. I’ll drive 100 miles for cookies sooner than baking more cookies, that’s for sure. 

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It actually was a wonderful time. Nothing exciting, just family and Christmas movies and football on the basement TV and food and drink and presents. And cookies. I think I'm pretty much cookied out. I think I want to eat salad and apples and poached chicken for the next month or so. 

We're on our way back home now.  It's 11 AM and we're heading south on Pennsylvania 202 toward Route 1. It's a bit colder here than at home and there's still a light frosting of snow on the road shoulder and the bare trees. It's cold and still and the sky is leaden and heavy looking, like it might snow again. 

We didn't do many Christmas things this year. No lights, no concerts, not many parties, not much of anything. I'm a little sorry about that but I'm not going to ruminate. A new year is just a few days away. The last few years have taught me not to tempt fate by gloating over the end of the old year but I'm optimistic in the most cautious and circumspect way. A new year is a new start, no matter what it might bring. 

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The internet says we’re all supposed to choose a word for 2026, a word meant to inspire and guide us. I couldn’t boil anything down to a single word (and five minutes reading this blog should make that perfectly clear) but maybe I should come up with a phrase or a sentence. 

This is normally where the jokes would come in, where I’d sit here and crack myself up writing funny sentences that would sum up my state of mind as we careen into 2026. But I won’t, for two reasons. First, as I mentioned earlier, I’m not going to ask for trouble from the incoming year because I’ve done that and look what happened. Last year, I was all “See ya, 2024, and don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out,” and 2025 came in all “Hold my beer.” I won’t make that mistake again. 

Secondly, it’s really not a bad idea to start a new year by writing down my intentions, which is different from making resolutions. A resolution is a promise or a plan to do or not do a particular thing in the new year. A new year’s intention is broader - less specific, a guiding principle rather than a to-do (or to-don’t) list. I have a few days to think about this. I’ll report back. 

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Maybe intention is the actual word for me. One of the many (so many) bad things about 2025 is living in constant survival mode in which I just drift from one thing to the next. I don’t plan things, I don’t look forward to things - I do each task as it arises, and I go where I need to go or where I’m invited, but nothing is fixed. I’ve even stopped writing things down. Nothing is intentional. Intention, or maybe intentionality, would be a good thing to have again. 

Purpose is another good word; related to but not the same thing as intention. Purpose is higher level. Purpose is the driving principle and intention is the way you go about your daily routine so that you accomplish your purpose. I’m not saying that I don’t have a purpose but I’ve lost sight of it. 

And then there’s energy. I used to have it and I don’t anymore; or rather, I have less energy. I have sporadic, intermittent energy. I miss consistent energy. I miss consistently purposeful, intentional, energetic days. 

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It’s the last day of the year. The Christmas tree is coming down in a day or so - I know that it’s supposed to stay up until January 6, but the Christmas clutter is just about to lose its charm, and it’s time to get my house back in order, in more ways than one. And 2025 is finally coming to an end, and even though I know 2026 could well be worse, I’m going to claim victory for making it through 2025. And that’s another word for 2026. Victory.