A modest proposal

I'm at the doctor's office again. This is a doctor who is new to me so I don't know what to expect. Since I'm old, I have to get a routine colonoscopy and this is the consultation appointment. 

I've been through this once before but with a different doctor whom I really did not like. I was prepared, however, to see this doctor again because it's a 15-minute consultation followed by a procedure through which I will be unconscious so who cares, right? But as it turns out, my brilliant primary care doctor doesn't like him either and she referred me to someone new so here I am. 

I'm in the examining room now. A lovely African nurse came in to take my blood pressure and vitals, and we ended up commiserating about the dreadful election results. It's still raw.  She and I agreed that this country is just “not ready" for a woman leader. It probably never will be. India, Pakistan, Israel, Germany, the UK (twice), Ireland (twice), New Zealand, Finland, and Mexico have all managed to elect women to their countries’ highest offices. Not sure why we can't manage to do it here. 

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Or maybe I know exactly why we can’t manage to elect a woman President here. 

BTW if you are not familiar with the “your body, my choice” meme, then do yourself a favor and stay off the internet. Maybe forever. 

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I deactivated my Instagram account for a while. I’ll miss the funny cat videos and profane Elmo yelling “get the fuck outta my way” and the “white women ain’t scared of shit” guy,  but it’s for the best. Meanwhile, the new doctor was lovely and the appointment was fine other than the absolutely disgusting discussion of what to expect during the colonoscopy prep. But I guess that a gastroenterologist who is that enthusiastic about bowel movements is a gastroenterologist who really loves his job. If a dude is going to be scoping my large intestine, then I want someone who is really committed to his work. 

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Speaking of shit shows, Donald Trump will be President again in 72 days. I trust Joe Biden to use the time well, and I have some excellent suggestions: 

• Pack the Court right now. Expand it to 13 Justices, and appoint four immediately while you still have the Senate. 
• Make Kamala Harris one of those four. 
• Pardon Hunter because fuck Fox News.
• Pardon a whole bunch of other people.
• Order the Department of the Interior to claim Mar a Lago and turn it into a National Park.
• Get some rich Democrats to indemnify Marla Maples so that she won’t have to worry about her NDA.
• Issue executive orders left and right, including orders to protect the careers and pensions of the many military officers and civil servants who have angered Trump. 
• Resign on about January 15 or so, making Trump the 48th President and rendering all of the Trumpity Trumpsters’ 47 merchandise obsolete (this idea is not mine, but it’s excellent)..
• My favorite: Order the IRS to release the tax returns - not just Donald, but Don Jr., Eric, Ivanka and Jared (ESPECIALLY IVANKA AND JARED). 

OK, some of this is probably totally illegal. I guess he could only get away with it if he had some kind of Presidential immunity. 

LOL.