How does that new meme go? Oh yeah–a horrified person or a horrified cat or dog realizes that “2022” is pronounced the same way as “2020, too.” Or “2020, two.” Hilarious.
Last year, on December 31, I was giddy with excitement at the prospect of 2020 finally coming to an end. Whatever 2021 would bring, I thought to myself, at least it wouldn’t be 2020. Well, well, well, was that not adorable? Was that not precious?
It’s December 31 again. It’s 10:30 in the morning Eastern Standard Time, so 2021 will be over in 13.5 hours. 2021 wasn’t all bad, I guess. It was just confined and small. The worst part was that people I love died, and I was sad a lot; sad about isolation and limits and sad with loss and grief. And right now I don’t know if I can face another halfway year, another year of half-life.
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It’s January 1, 2022. You know, I wrote that trash talk about 2021 BEFORE I heard that Betty White had died. 2021 had just one more little punch in the neck in store, but it’s over now and it can’t do any more damage.
We spent part of the last day of 2021 in Annapolis, Maryland’s state capital. Annapolis is a lovely town, steeped in history, charming and lively, with a picturesque harbor waterfront. It was a mild day, and we were able to stay outdoors, so as to avoid catching or spreading the COVID. Then we came home and ate leftovers and started a fire in the fireplace and watched hockey and stayed up to see the ball drop. It was a surprisingly nice New Year’s Eve.
And now it’s the first day of a new year, and 2022 seems full of possibilities. I don’t usually make resolutions, but I’m going to do that right now. Of course, I don’t know what those resolutions might be just yet, but I’m definitely going to try to break out of my routines. Well, not the writing–I’m going to keep doing that every day. And not the compulsive housecleaning because I can’t actually change my DNA or anything. But I’m going to try to think differently. I’m going to try to do better and be better. That’s enough of a resolution that I feel that I have something to strive toward, but not so specific that I’ll feel like a failure if I don’t accomplish it. After all, even a little bit better counts as better, right?
*****
Have you ever had a back spasm? I’d never had one before last night, but now my lower back is seizing up, and it’s hard to stand up or bend over without pain. It’s exactly the same way that back pain is depicted in movies and TV shows. I’m grimacing and sucking in my breath and shuffling around like an old lady. I don’t know what I did to myself. I was fine and then I wasn’t.
I took some ibuprofen, and I did some stretches, and I’m going to take a hot shower. Other than that, I’m going to do what I usually do about medical and health issues, which is absolutely nothing. I’ll wait for it to get better. I’ll sit around and see how it shakes out. When it does get better, I’ll pretend it never happened. If it gets worse, then I might call the doctor or something. This approach has gotten me through 56 years, and I see no reason to change.
It’s January 2. According to a news story that I read this morning, Omicron is raging nearly uncontrolled, but public health authorities think that new infections could peak by mid January. That counts as good news, I guess. But I’m going to avoid the news for a bit, good or bad. That was one of the things that I was planning to do differently. I’m too connected. I need to unplug for a bit. Anyone who needs me knows where to find me.
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Throughout my years of school, I hoped against hope for a snow day on the first day after Christmas vacation. I didn’t mind school (I was a good student) and I always liked the first day of school in September (New teacher! New classes! New pens and pencils and notebooks!) but the first day after Christmas vacation was always miserable. The holidays were over, and the world seemed cold and dark and dreary, and we were going back to the same old stupid teachers and same old stupid classes and desks. Even the teachers were sad on the first day back after the holidays. So we always hoped for that last-minute snow emergency, that one-day reprieve that would delay the inevitable end of the holidays and return to school. And it never happened, not even once; not that I can remember, anyway.
Today, January 3, should be the first day back at school after the holidays; instead, it is a snow day. My son got the reprieve that every student hopes for. Not only is school closed, but swim practice was cancelled. The 4:30 AM wake-up time is never fun, but it’s especially bleak on the morning after the Christmas holiday.
My back is still messed up but it’s noticeably less messed up than it was yesterday, so I’m sure I’m fine. I Googled my symptoms and am following the self-care instructions for the non-serious condition that I believe that I have, and I expect to be back to normal by the end of the week. If not, then maybe I’ll actually call the doctor. I resolved to do things differently this year, so I guess I should stop ignoring medical symptoms in the hope that they’ll just go away.
On the other hand, they usually DO just go away. Let’s see what happens, shall we?
*****
Well what do you know? It really is better today! “Ignore it and it will go away'' remains solid medical advice, from me to me.
I feel so much better, in fact, that I even like winter a little bit. It’s hard not to like winter a little bit when you look out your kitchen window and see a cardinal roosting bright red in a sparkling snow-covered forsythia bush. The snow is still fresh and gleaming, clean and bright. It’ll be gray and grimy in a day or so, but it’s certainly pretty right now. Let’s see how I feel about it on Friday. Watch this space.
So winter is just getting started, but Christmas is over, at least in my house. I know that the season continues until January 6, but by January 2, I am finished with the joyous riot of Christmas paraphernalia, and ready to restore my house to its customary neat and orderly state.
We started our Christmas decorating early this year–the halls were decked by Sunday of Thanksgiving weekend. It’s nice to have the decorations for the whole of December and Advent, but Christmas decorations do not improve with time. The tree and the ornaments and the lights and the wall hangings and the knick-knacks and kitchen decorations all look cheerful and charming for the first few weeks. Then it all starts to look a little bit cluttered. And then it starts to look a little bit seedy. Another week and it would have been like skid row up in here. So everything is gone and packed away, except for the tree, which will come down tomorrow.
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I looked back at the last two years of January entries in my one line a day five-year journal, a gift from my sister from Christmas 2019. Me being me, of course I have been compulsive about writing that one line each day, and now I'm beginning year 3.
I thought I'd see a huge difference in entries from pre-COVID early 2020 and mid-pandemic (as we now know it) early 2021, but most of last January was about weather and books and the insurrection, which happened one year ago tomorrow. The only clear trend in these months of daily journal entries was my terrible terrible handwriting. Really, it's just dreadful. I'm going to try to do better. Yet another resolution to keep.
Anyway, my one-day love affair with winter is officially over. It's ugly and gray and cold today, and the snow is grubby and dirty and my once clean car is crusted with salt. Winter and I are done and we are never ever ever getting back together.
*****
Today is January 6, 2022; one year since the Capitol riot, or insurrection, or whatever you want to call it. On his way to work today, a colleague of my husband’s took a picture of a jackass in a Civil War uniform, waving a Trump - Pence flag. The Civil War uniform was appropriate, though it was Union blue. Maybe the man's Confederate uniform was at the cleaners. Or maybe he doesn’t know the difference between Union and Confederate uniforms. Or maybe he thinks that Abraham Lincoln and Ulysses S. Grant would have been on Trump’s side.
It’s late afternoon now and I haven’t looked at news or social media since early this morning. If anyone is trying to storm the Capitol again, I haven’t heard about it.
I worked like crazy today. The last six months or so of work ups and downs have taught me something valuable. Every time I think that I can’t do something, I just do it anyway, and I find that about 75 percent of the time, I actually can do the thing that I thought I couldn’t do. Or I can at least get other people to help me to do the thing that I thought I couldn’t; and that’s just as good, because the end result is the same. This isn’t necessarily what I have learned; I think I always knew that I could do things that I thought I couldn’t do because I already do and have done that.
Anyone want to take a stab at diagramming that last sentence? Good luck. LMK what you come up with.
Anyway, what I have really learned is that so many people in leadership positions do exactly what I am doing. They are handed a task or a problem or a giant responsibility and then they panic, thinking that they can’t handle it, that they don’t know what they’re doing. And then they do it anyway, because they have to, because people need them to. Again, not so revolutionary an idea; and not something that I really learned so much as re-learned. What is that saying? God doesn’t call the qualified; He qualifies the called. It’s a good thing to remember
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OK it’s time to wind down with this meandering mess. It’s January 7, a Friday, and the last day of the first week of 2022. Winter is trying to seduce me again. It snowed again last night and schools are closed again today, and I’m working in a comfortable sweater and pajama pants, and the sun is doing its sparkling-on-the-snow thing again. I even saw a cardinal roosting in a bush. It was a different bush, and maybe a different cardinal, but it still looked pretty. But I didn’t fall for it. Winter tried that line on me a few days ago, and then when I showed the tiniest bit of interest, it showed its true colors. Rather, it showed its true color, which is ugly dirt leaden gray. So I won’t be taken in this time. Winter, if you want me, you’ll have to figure out a way to give me the beautiful clean sparkling snow minus the 28 degree high temperatures. You have my number. You know where to find me.
So yes, I’m all but immune to winter’s charms but another handbag called my name and I went running. This is the one, I’m quite sure. This is the handbag that will accommodate everything I want to carry, will look stylish, will match every piece of clothing I own, and will be appropriate for every occasion. Now all I have to do is hope for better weather, and wait for the nice UPS man to bring me the handbag of my dreams.
Our tree is still up but all of the rest of our Christmas decorations are packed away until December. Work will remain a challenge but it’s Friday and I’ve accomplished some things and solved some problems and that’s enough for now. I got through almost a day and a half without thinking about COVID or insurrections. And my back is pretty much all better now. One week in, and 51 more to go. Happy 2022.
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