Ask not

Well hello there. How are you? Well, I hope. Me? Oh fine, just fine. Just absolutely totally fucking fine. Couldn’t be better. 

And now that we have that out of the way, let’s address the fat-ass elephant in the room, shall we? Welcome back, COVID. Nobody fucking missed you, and nobody invited you back, but here you are, so I guess we have to offer you a drink or something. Tell you what. There’s a big bottle of bleach in the laundry room. Help yourself. 

My inbox is full. Just today, I received notices about the Rockville High School boys’ basketball game (cancelled) and the girls’ basketball game (cancelled) and morning pre-season baseball workouts (cancelled). RHS sends letters to let us know when someone has tested positive, and then they contact the affected person’s close contacts separately regarding quarantine requirements. New cases have averaged one per week since the beginning of the school year. Today, there were 11 new cases. Parents are understandably freaking out, and rumors are spreading faster than the fucking omicron variant, may it rot in Hell. 

Other than that? Nothing new. Nice to see you. Have a great holiday!

*****

Now it's Tuesday. December 21. Winter Solstice. I'm in a very long line at the Leisure World Giant pharmacy counter, waiting for my COVID booster. A lady in line behind me declared the whole thing "crazy" after a five-minute wait, and abandoned the line. If everyone does that, I'll be out of here in no time. 

It looks and feels like winter; damp and chilly, heavily overcast and still, with a faint smell of snow. I feel like I should be listening to Trans Siberian Orchestra's ominous and vaguely threatening "Carol of the Bells" medley. TSO makes Christmas bells sound like the bells that we should not ask for whom they toll because they toll for us. Apocalyptic. Appropriate, really. 

I'm about third in line now. The crowd behind me is getting restless. "This is ridiculous! This is crazy! I can't believe this!" These sweet summer children have lived through the last 21 months, and yet they remain shocked at the ridiculousness of a 15-minute wait at a supermarket pharmacy. It’s adorable, really. I think it’s lovely that they’ve managed to maintain their wide-eyed innocence amid the shit storms formally known as the years 2020 and 2021. But they might want to toughen the hell up. 2022 hasn’t even started yet. 

*****

It’s Wednesday now. I got my booster shot, just 10 minutes later than my scheduled appointment time, and I came home to wait for my immune system to start flexing its muscles. Last evening was fine. I was a bit tired and my arm was a little sore, but I felt fine otherwise. Today is a whole other story. I dragged myself up, and after a shower and coffee and an orange and two Tylenols and two Advils, I felt human enough to commence with my workday. I attended meetings. I wrote emails. I organized and planned and managed stuff. The truck didn’t really hit me until about 1 PM, at which point I considered simply lying down on the floor and pulling the carpet over myself. I kept working for a bit, but then I gave in to the fatigue and the muscle aches and the low-grade fever; and I dragged myself to this here couch, where I intend to remain for the rest of the evening. Tomorrow is December 23, also known as Christmas Eve Eve, also known as Christmas Adam. It’s going to be a busy day for me. For the rest of today, I’m going to rest.