Like every other June and July weekend, this weekend is a test of my ability to do as many things as possible in two days. It’s 5:30 on Saturday afternoon, and I think I’m on pace to get through my entire list by Sunday night. We’ll see what happens.
I interviewed for a job yesterday. It’s a job that I did not apply for and I didn’t even know if I was interested in it or not, but they asked me to interview via Zoom and I had time and I thought “OK, why not?” And now I might want that job, but I’m also afraid that they will offer it to me, because then I will have to make a decision and I’m not ready to do that. I’ve known for some time that I might have to change jobs. I just didn’t expect it to happen so suddenly.
*****
A new job of a different kind altogether than the job I have now, in a field that I worked in a long time ago and didn’t think that I would return to but never ruled out either, is just one of the things that could change around here. The other thing is that I don’t want to write anymore. See that? That doesn’t even make sense, grammatically. It would be better to say that the other thing that is going to change is my daily writing habit, because I don’t want to do it anymore. And that’s also not quite accurate because I do want to do it (or rather I want to have done it, which is a different thing altogether) but I don’t think I can.
And even that’s not right because I clearly can. I wrote that paragraph in about 90 seconds. But it’s about nothing, and there’s no point to it. I have words for days, but I don’t have anything to say. My mind is blank.
*****
It’s Monday now. Everyone in the household, except me, is on a day trip to Hersheypark. I could have accompanied them if I wanted to but one thing that really doesn’t change about me is that I don’t like amusement parks. I’m taking a break to write, because it’s kind of lonesome around here. It’s odd, because I’m home by myself all the time, but it feels different being home alone when everyone else is two hours away and they won’t be home until late. It’s like I’m REALLY home alone. I don’t like it very much. It’s nice not to have to worry about dinner tonight, but I like having everyone else around.
And I have plenty to say. PLENTY. At least half of it is stuff that I can’t say on the Internet, but the other half is fair game. Everything is copy, just like Nora Ephron said.
No word about the job yet, but I’ll report back as soon as I hear anything. Everything is copy. Well, half of everything, anyway.
No comments:
Post a Comment