I just saw a televised tour of El Chapo's hideout. It looked like a 27-year-old software engineer's apartment. White walls, unadorned by anything other than a wall-mounted flat screen TV; beige, builder's grade carpet; a brown microfiber living-room suite, with the couch, love seat, and overstuffed chair pushed up against the bare white walls; and a bedroom furnished with a bare mattress and box-spring set, with a pile of pillows and blankets that looked like they'd been recently slept on or under. Pizza boxes, newspapers, and DVDs were strewn about. Minus the bullet holes, the place looked like it belongs in a garden apartment complex in Reston.
Maybe El Chapo should consider a career change. Defense contractors in the DMV are always hiring engineers. He'd have to settle for $100,000 or so a year, rather than $100 million, but his apartment would be just as nice as the one he just vacated, and he'd be able to leave home once in a while without a disguise. And it's not likely that Sean Penn would come around pestering him, either. Something to think about.
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