The personal is political

I suppose that should be modified somewhat; what's really true now is that everything is political.

A few days ago, I was on Facebook.  A Facebook friend (a person whom I've never met personally, but we connected at some point through blogging, I think) posted a sad lament about how she'd been forced to unfriend someone, an actual close personal friend, because the former friend had revealed a political opinion that the poster found offensive.

It's probably not all that remarkable that someone would drop a friend (remember, this was an actual friend, not just a social media connection) with whom she disagrees politically.  I think that happens all the time now.   What made this particular post stand out was the tone of genuine grief and anguish, and the person's deep conviction that she had been forced to drop this friend; that she had absolutely no choice but to end a treasured friendship because the friend holds distasteful political opinions.

I suppose there are situations in which it would be reasonable and even necessary to end a friendship or friendly acquaintanceship because of politics.  If you learn, for example, that your friendly and courteous neighbor or colleague, a person whom you once liked and respected and considered becoming better friends with, is actually a KKK member, or a Holocaust denier, or an ISIS recruiter, then you'd obviously want to end your association with that person immediately.  But how is it possible that a person with whom you've been close personal friends for many years is suddenly revealed to be a Nazi or a white supremacist or a terrorist?

The point, of course, is that the political offense that ended this particular friendship was probably of a much lesser magnitude.  There is a small, but vocal (and growing) cohort who genuinely believe that perfect conformity of thought and opinion on every social and political issue is not only desirable among friends, but necessary.  This group of people feel absolutely obligated to end friendships, cut off family members, and shun neighbors and acquaintances who don't adapt quickly and completely to new modes of thought on everything from gender theory to income inequality to the real or perceived privilege of one group of people over another.  Those people, who either cling to opinions that were not all that controversial 25 years ago, or who just aren't aware of how quickly and completely their friends' outlooks have changed, are not given the smallest amount of slack.  Once someone reveals herself to be slightly behind the curve socially or politically, she is cut off, cast out into outer darkness where there is, presumably, wailing and gnashing of teeth.

Aside from the obvious cruelty of an approach to relationships that places politics and ideology over people, you have to also wonder about the futility of this approach.  If you're convinced that your understanding of humanity is the only reasonable and correct one, wouldn't you want to try to convert others?  Wouldn't you respond to perceived errors in thought or speech with persuasion rather than ostracism?  Something about flies and honey; I can't remember.  Maybe Frog or Toad would know.