I'm Egg-sellent

That's a mixed metaphor, I suppose, because I refer to MS Excel, and not to the scrambled, fried, or poached product of a chicken.  So sue me.

I start my new job on November 3. Who else can say that she got the first job in her field that she applied to after graduating? Yes, I graduated at age 48, but my advanced age only slightly diminishes the magnitude of this accomplishment. Write that down. 

I'm actually 49 now.  This is when people start to worry about their minds (having long despaired of their bodies, I suppose) and I'm not immune to those worries.  If you have ever worked as a government contractor, then you know that the upside is that you can always find a job if you need to.  The downside (wait for it) is that you almost always need to.  Now, though, I have to worry about more than just finding a new job.  I have to worry about my brain's ability to keep up with brains half its age.  Cloud computing!  New forms of social media every damn day!  Windows 8.1! Sometimes, I'm pugnaciously upbeat, like one of those aggressively active seniors in a Medicare supplement commercial.  Sometimes, though, I descend into Luddite crotchetiness.  That's a word, because I say it is.  

Today, I'm an active senior, adjusting my fanny pack and mall-walking circles around these damn kids. I remembered how to create formulas in Excel, and I...

...am bitch-slapped by irony, once again.  That last paragraph, abandoned mid-sentence, was supposed to be a boast about how I mastered Windows 8.1 in less than 24 hours, and then, my keyboard abruptly refused to produce output to match my input. I'm sure that I must have hit something by accident.  I had to resort to the help desk first line of defense. Now that the computer has been turned off and back on again, it appears to be fine. My nerves are a little frayed, but you have to break a few eggs to make an omelet.