Showing posts with label Gross. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Gross. Show all posts

Saturday, August 20, 2022

Re-entry

Just like that, Beach Week is over and with it, summer or so it seems. It’s Monday, my first day back at work (which was just fine after an hour sorting through last week’s emails in conversation view) and it was unseasonably cool; cloudy and gray and slightly breezy with a few drops of rain here and there. I don’t think it got any warmer than 72 degrees today, and that is cool for August in Maryland. 

I write about the weather a lot, don’t I? 

Anyway, school starts in two weeks. That is the end of summer as far as I’m concerned, but the cool temperatures and the October gloom are encroaching on my last weeks of sunshine and warmth, trying to fool me into believing that summer is already gone and that I should just get started with the pumpkin spicing (no) and the Christmas shopping. And I’m not having it. It’s 6:30 and the pool is still open for two hours and the water can’t have gotten that cold overnight (it was just right yesterday) so I’m going to put on a suit and swim laps before I cook dinner. No one here is in any danger of starvation, so dinner can wait. The remains of summer cannot. 

*****

Ha ha ha, that was ridiculous. “The water can’t have gotten that cold overnight,” she says, blithely skipping out the door with her bag and her towel. I should have also brought a space heater and a parka because it was actually freezing. 

Well, let me clarify a bit. The water itself was in fact not that bad. It had gotten a bit colder but it was still quite a nice temperature or would have been had the air temperature not been in the high 60s. Plus, it was rather gray and a bit breezy, and without the sun sparkling on its surface, the pool water appeared dank, which made it feel that much colder. 

My son and his friends were working when I arrived at the pool at 6:45. I was the only swimmer in the place, and my son shook his head when I signed in. “It’s cold, Mom,” he said. “I mean, it’s been colder, but just warning you. It’s pretty cold, especially when you get out.” 

And he was not wrong. Getting into the pool was quite a bit easier than getting out, as a stiff breeze made the already cool air feel downright chilly. It was Baltic, I tell you. Baltic. 

*****

What is it with Wednesdays around here? I am once again writing at work as I await resolution of a technical issue. This time it's everyone, not just me. There's a partial power failure right now where I work, the result of a fix gone wrong. The library is one of the few places where there is both light and WiFi so that's where I am. But it's taking some time for the shared public workstation to set up Windows and sync all of my files and whatever else it has to do. 

30 minutes later and I'm sitting in the courtyard waiting for a call from the help desk. They need to reset my SSO password and they cannot connect to the PW reset application, leading me to the question: What do you do when the help desk cannot help you? And an even bigger question: Who helps the help desk? Who are they supposed to call?

It's 9:30 now; still quite early. I could just go home and work and if this continues for much longer, then that is what I'll do. But we're all in this together and I kind of want to see how it all turns out. Meanwhile I brought a tuna sandwich and some fruit for lunch, so I could just have brunch now rather than waiting for lunch. Tuna salad is good any time of the day. 

Yes it is. 

*****

I’m home now. I worked at five different desks today. I’d connect for a bit and then the connection would drop, and then someone would message me that I could come to room x in building y, and I would be there for a bit and then the whole thing would start over again. I accomplished about three hours’ worth of actual work today, but I  got to hang out with some new people, and I also came up with a really good idea when I was sitting around waiting for my password reset, so it was a pretty productive day altogether. 

*****

It’s Thursday afternoon now, 5:30 PM, and I’m just home from work. I left my phone at home today, not on purpose, of course. But once I was sure that the phone was actually safely on my kitchen counter and not in a ditch somewhere (why would it be in a ditch I wouldn’t go near a ditch to save my soul from Hell) I realized that it’s quite nice to spend a day semi-disconnected. Now I’m catching up on correspondence, and responding to what seems like 50 text messages. It’s not 50. It’s maybe 15. But it’s a lot. Why are these people texting me all day? Am I the only person who works on weekdays? 

*****

My son attends the University of Maryland, which (of course) is now reporting its first case of monkeypox. And there has to be a better name for it, doesn’t there? Monkeypox. Gross. 

I’m not even particularly worried about this; not yet, anyway. It’s Friday, and my mind is blank, and my hands are just moving across this keyboard in an almost-reflexive way. Everything about today, the sunshine and the light and the coming transition from summer to fall, reminds me of 2020. A school year was about to begin and no one knew if or when that would involve entering a school building. The pandemic raged on with no end in sight. The election was around the corner and although I couldn’t wait to see the end of the Trump presidency, I also knew that chaos was going to ensue no matter who won that Godforsaken election. I went to work every morning in my little home office, watching the birds and suburban wildlife outside my window, and wondering if normal life would ever resume. I wondered if anyone even knew what constituted normal life anymore. I still wonder about this. 

*****

But it’s Saturday now, not quite 10 AM, and I’m sitting in my backyard letting my hair dry and listening to the birds, just like I did every morning at the beach, but with different birds. The birds here are quieter. You’d think that inveterate pests and thieves like seagulls would go about their business a little more quietly, draw less attention to themselves, but Avalon’s seagulls are out there and they want you to know it. Hold on to your kids’ sandwiches, they cackle, taunting. Don’t leave those corn chips unattended. Silver Spring birds are politer. You can eat your lunch in my backyard, and your sandwich will remain unmolested. 

But even if a rogue oriole absconds with your lunch, that seems like the worst that could happen right now. Monkeypox and COVID and war and inflation and the constitutional crisis of the day are all out there, but they’re keeping quiet for the moment. With the warm sunshine, birdsong, and clear blue skies, it’s shaping up to be a perfect tail-end-of-summer day. Everything is almost still, except for the trees, barely rustling in the breeze.  

Weather and birds - that is the content that you came here for. 


Friday, November 8, 2019

Insides

It's Monday. I have to have a colonoscopy on Wednesday. Look that up and see if it doesn’t make you want to run screaming off the face of the earth. But I’m a middle-aged lady, and that’s what middle-aged ladies do. We go to some doctor, who tells us that a disgusting medical assault on our dignity is the only thing standing between us and grim death; and we say, "Oh, OK, by all means. Do schedule my appointment." I dread this the way I dread election season but I guess it’s better than being dead.

Well that was fun, wasn’t it? That paragraph, I mean. No time has elapsed and I’m not yet in the happy position of telling you all about the colonoscopy as an event that occurred in the past. Lucky for you, I won’t be telling you all about it at all, because it’s disgusting. It’s 8:55 PM now, so I’m going to have a snack, my last solid food until Wednesday.

*****
It's Tuesday now. I guess I've always wondered what cholera felt like, and now I know.

By the way, guess what I'm doing?

No, don't really guess. You don't want to know. The less said, the better.

*****
OK, the worst might be over. Drinking the solution was the hardest part. I had to drink a 10-ounce bottle of magnesium citrate this morning, and then the first of two doses of Suprep this afternoon. Both were vile, but the magnesium citrate was worse.

Now I'm just drained, very tired, and very cold. I'm in my bed, wearing flannel pajama pants and fuzzy socks. I'm reading and writing and looking forward to having this over with.

What am I reading? I'm glad you asked, imaginary person. I finally finished The Woman in White, and now I'm back to Nora Ephron, another book of essays called I Remember Nothing. I feel for you Nora. I can't say that I remember nothing, but I remember a lot less than I should. It's not so good.

*****
I'll write about The Woman in White another time, except for this one observation. I wouldn't want to be a woman (or even a man) in Victorian England, but it would be nice to be allowed to be sick for a day or so. Characters in The Woman in White are sent immediately to bed as soon as they sneeze. Meanwhile, I might as well have dysentery, but still I worked like a fiend all day.

*****
Reading Nora Ephron is like taking a class on the 20th century American cultural elite. You should always have easy access to the Internet when you read Nora. You'll probably need to look some things up.

*****
I need to Google Lillian Ross. Nora obviously thinks that I should know who she is. My next dispatch will be from the other side of this dreadful procedure. Until then.

*****
It’s Wednesday afternoon now; and I’m home, free from the clutches of the medical establishment, for now. It wasn’t that bad except that I woke up during the procedure; and judging by the astonished look on the anesthesiologist’s face, that wasn’t supposed to happen. But it went well otherwise.

I finished I Remember Nothing. And it turns out that just like me, Nora also hated the end of summer. And she worried, as I worry, about the ridiculous and sometimes cruel effects of aging. She worried about the inevitable decline. One day you can’t remember things; and the next day, you can’t see things; and then the rest of your life is a series of infirmities and indignities.

Nora Ephron’s life was so different from mine; and she was so much more fearless and sophisticated and accomplished than I could dream of being. She probably wouldn't have had much patience with me. But reading her feels like reading emails from a friend. She died in 2012, so sadly, there won’t be any more Nora Ephron books, but there are a few that I haven’t gotten to. I’m going to read Heartburn next. But first, I'm going to go to sleep for a while. I feel strangely groggy.