Fasting

Today is Shrove Tuesday, also known as Fat Tuesday or Mardi Gras. It’s Pancake Day in some households. It’s Paczki Day in others. But tomorrow is Ash Wednesday, no matter what you call the Tuesday before. 

You probably know that Catholics and some other Christians observe a tradition of fasting and sacrifice during Lent. We are supposed to mostly fast on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday, and to avoid meat on Fridays throughout the 6-week season. We are encouraged, though not required, to “give something up” for Lent - sweets or alcohol or social media or something. I always give up chocolate, a hard sacrifice for me. And Lent is about giving as well as sacrificing. More time spent in prayer, charitable contributions beyond the usual, selfless action toward others - it’s all part of the season. 

Lent is actually relatively easy now. In the pre-Vatican 2 Catholic church, Catholics gave up meat for the entire season, not just on Fridays; as well as butter, eggs, and sugar. Hence the Fat Tuesday tradition - Catholics needed to use up all of their butter and sugar and eggs before Lent began. 

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The winter of 2023 - 2024 was when I started to feel some grudging affection for winter. It was my youngest son’s first year in college and by January, I had gotten used to not having him at home. I still missed him, but it was easier. And of course, we got to cheer at college swim meets, and there are few things more fun than cheering at a college swim meet. 

My husband was working a lot that winter (as always), and my older son, who lived at home while he finished college, was often out. I spent a lot of time by myself that winter, and I remember looking out the window at the calm winter twilight, feeling the darkness gather and close in like a blanket. I’d only turn the lights on when it was fully dark outside. I read a lot of books that winter. I made soup. I watched movies. It was nice. Peaceful. 

This winter is not a peaceful time for me or anyone, but I still have cozy little winter twilight flashbacks. I still hate the cold, but I must admit that I’ve become rather fond of certain aspects of winter. 

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Yesterday was Ash Wednesday, and we’re now in the season of Lent. As always, I’m giving up sweets, including sugar in my tea. As always, Lent is going to be hard. It’s only the second day and it’s already hard. But it’s fine. Life is hard. 

Life felt especially hard yesterday for some odd reason, and not just because of the Ash Wednesday fast and the sugar deprivation. Everything felt sad and dreary. I worked from home and my oversize sweater and stretchy pants felt like sackcloth, which goes well with ashes, I guess. There’s something about the Ash Wednesday timing this year - right after President’s Day and right after the Conference meet - that makes it feel like winter is coming to an abrupt end. And in very uncharacteristic fashion, I am not ready for winter to end. What is wrong with me? Who am I, even? 

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Isn’t it weird how other democratic modern industrialized nations can hold their elite to the basic standard of “the law applies to you, too, buddy” and we can’t manage to do the same? Shout out to the UK. Shout out to South Korea. May it be here as it is there. 

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Yeah, I get sidetracked sometimes. Anyway, it would appear that I spoke too soon about the abrupt departure of winter because we expect another winter storm on Sunday, and another few days of stupid cold temperatures, and it turns out that I might just be ready for this to end after all. The thing is that I just feel like hibernating for a few weeks longer. I want to come home from work in the evening and watch the darkness close in and not go anywhere. I want to come home and stay home. But I’ll want to be out in the world again as soon as the weather and the longer days make the outside world a bit more hospitable. 

“Outside world” - listen to me as if I’ve been housebound all winter. I’m out in the world all the time. ALL the time, I tell you. 

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I haven’t paid much attention to the Olympics, but I’ve watched Alysa Liu’s free skate at least five times now. I’d heard her extraordinary comeback story and I knew that she had won gold so I found the YouTube video so that I could keep up with the conversation. I teared up like a baby the moment I heard the opening chords of Donna Summer’s “MacArthur Park,” one of my favorite childhood songs and still an absolute banger. I loved everything about that performance. Every single woman who remembers being a girl who was too loud or too quiet or too fat or too sexy or not sexy enough or too smart or too silly loved that performance. Every single woman who has ever been told how to dress and how to act and what to eat and and what to say and when to smile, smile, smile (but not like that because boys will get ideas) loved that performance. Alysa Liu had had enough of all of that, so much so that she quit skating at age 16. And then she came roaring back at 20, determined to do everything her own way, with joy and without fear. And she won. I’d follow that 20-year-old girl into battle. 

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It’s Sunday morning now. I was going to go to Mass. I really should go to Mass, but it’s raining hard and it just feels like a day when I’m not going to leave the house. At least the month-old dirty snow is almost gone, soon to be replaced by fresh clean snow. As always, the DMV snow forecast is less than definitive. Latest reports indicate that we’ll see anywhere from zero to 48 inches. 

I’m watching the gold medal US vs. Canada game. Connor Hellebuyck is the truth, as my son says. If the US manages to win this thing (it just went into overtime), then he’s absolutely the MVP. 

This is crazy. I’m too old to watch 3 on 3 overtime. 

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USA! USA! That was an absolutely amazing hockey game. I didn’t think I’d miss the Olympics when it was over, but I’m definitely going to miss it a little bit. 

I’m watching the medals ceremony and texting with my husband, my son, my cousin, and my boss. I love a lot of the Canadian players, especially Tom Wilson and Logan Thompson. And I’m one of the only Capitals fans in the world who likes Brad Marchand. I feel bad for those Canadians. But not that bad. Americans have been through some shit this year. We needed a win. 

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We can’t have nice things for five minutes, can we? Thankfully, I turned the TV off right after the medals ceremony so I didn’t have to watch Kash Patel ruining the locker room party. I can’t even muster outrage about the stupid Trump call because OF COURSE he made fun of the women’s team and OF COURSE they all laughed. But I can absolutely muster outrage about stupid Kash Patel flying to Cortina in his little private jet at the taxpayers’ expense, and then making the whole thing about him. Every member of the Krusty Kabinet Krew (see what I did there) should just quit and spend their time making “own the libs” social media content. That’s all they do anyway, and I’d prefer that they do it at their own expense.  

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The snow fell overnight, leaving us with maybe 5 inches of new white snow. The sky is pale gray, almost white, and the trees are weighed down with heavy, damp snow. This latest snowfall will melt by the end of the week. We’re about to enter the first full week of Lent. And it’s Monday, so it’s time to get to work. It’s fasting season now in more ways than one, but cheering season will return.