Storms and sunshine

It’s Tuesday, and the first snow day of the year. It’s not really a snow day, it’s a snow half-day (or a half snow day--take your pick). Schools closed early, as did the Federal government, so we all spent the afternoon at home. I had the most unproductive and frustrating day yesterday; so much so that I began to question my competence. Well, I question my competence every damn day, but not at work. I’m pretty good at my job. But today, I got shit done, and then I got more shit done. I was firing on every cylinder. It was a good day.

*****
Yesterday, one of my coworkers said that he was making poached chicken for dinner. And I pictured him stuffing a squirming, squawking chicken under his trench coat, feathers flying as he runs toward his car, with a shotgun-wielding farmer in hot pursuit. “Hit the gas, honey,” he says, slamming the car door as his wife shifts it into gear. “We’re having poached chicken tonight.” And then I laughed and laughed.

Maybe this is why I couldn’t get any work done.

*****
Now it’s Thursday. It’s seasonably cold, which means that compared to the rest of this so-called winter, it’s freezing. It’s 5:30 PM, a dead of winter kind of day. All of the lights in the house are off, and I’m surrounded by sleeping people. My 15-year-old had 5 AM swim practice this morning and band rehearsal after school, and now he’s exhausted, sprawled out on the family room couch as ESPN glows softly on our ridiculous-sized TV. My husband, with a short break between his full-time job and a part-time evening gig, is also napping, on another couch in another room. My older son is at work. The house has finally warmed up and although I don’t usually like to sit in the dark, I have to admit that it feels cozy up in here. I can’t sleep right now, but watching other people sleep in a dark and peaceful house is the next best thing.

*****

It’s Friday afternoon, almost five o’clock and still light for a little while. The days are getting longer and not a moment too soon. I’d love to stay in tonight but I have to go to a thing and be social and whatnot.

I worked at the office today, rather than at home as I normally do on Fridays. I had too much to do when I went in this morning, and now I have way too much to do, having added (or been assigned) more stuff to do. I’m going to make a big list and figure out how to break the whole mess down and spread it out and get it all done. I’ll do that later. Because thinking about it for a while and then writing about it, and then writing it all down, is obviously more efficient than just doing it, right?

I’m starting to hyperventilate a little bit, just thinking about it.

It’ll be fine, though. Because anxiety-prompted procrastination that leads to full-blown panic fueling further inaction and paralysis until I have no choice but to work like a fiend just to keep up is always the right way to approach a surge in workload. That’s free life coaching.

*****

Another Saturday morning, another high school swim meet. I'm sitting on a bench with two stopwatches around my neck. I need two because I'm the assistant head timer. A significant promotion, and a long-overdue recognition of my accomplishments in high school swim timing.

A team parent is skulking around the deck, taking pictures for the obligatory end-of-season slide show, and he's pointing his stupid camera right at me. What is wrong with people? Does he think that I'm camera ready at 9 o’clock on Saturday morning at the aquatic center? I'm going to keep my head down and ignore him. Maybe he'll go away.

Warm-ups are underway now, so I'll have to put the phone away. I take my timing responsibility very seriously. They don't promote just anyone to assistant head timer. Well, they do. But they shouldn't.

You keep working on those stopwatch skills, and you'll be
lead deputy assistant head timer in no time, I tell you what. 

The head timer and assistant head timer don't have much to do during the 500-yard freestyle events, so I can sit and write as the swimmers settle in to their distance rhythm. Two things I'm good at: timing and multitasking. Well, the timing, anyway. I was running around the house multitasking like a crazy person this morning and only now does it occur to me that I don't remember turning the stove off. I don't remember leaving it on, of course ; I just don't definitely and clearly remember turning it off. I'll find out soon enough, won't I?

*****
It’s Sunday now and I’m sitting on the couch in my family room in my house that is still standing because I did turn off the stove. Now I’m planning my week. It’ll be fine. I can’t really think today.

I’ve been working on my 2019 book list, and I hoped to finish it this weekend, but I probably won’t. I like to write about books, but I’m distracted right now. I need clothes and shoes, but i want to buy more handbags. I’ll end up wearing handbags to work as my work clothes gradually wear out or go out of fashion, and I replace them with nothing but handbags. Handbags on my feet, handbags instead of sweaters or skirts. They probably won’t fit. I’ll have to buy clothes and then just carry one of the 20 or more handbags that I already have.

I didn’t sleep much last week, or last night. January thunderstorms, and then 65-degree sunshine. It’s a nice day so I think I have to get out of the house and out of my head. This post has hit rock bottom and I don’t want to join it. Until next week.