Anyone could do that

I'm waiting in the pickup line at Rockville High School and the bell just rang. In a moment or two, hundreds of happy Friday afternoon high schoolers will pour out the front doors into waiting buses and cars, ready to start their weekends. I have a few minutes to write because I'm hemmed in from all sides. I can't go anywhere, even when my kid gets in the car, so I might just as well write about it.

I worked from home today and I'm not quite finished. Another hour and I'll start my weekend, too. It's going to be a utilitarian weekend. Some Christmas un-decorating, some soup-making, a swim meet, and some book reading. I have so many books to read, and so much ephemera to write about. Just yesterday, I wrote a whole two-page essay about daily planners, one of my very favorite topics. Keeping track of the days might be a better occupation than paying attention to what’s happening on those days. But let me leave you with a quote:

“Our president will start a war with Iran because he has absolutely no ability to negotiate. He's weak and he's ineffective. So the only way he figures that he's going to get reelected — and as sure as you're sitting there — is to start a war with Iran. Isn’t that pathetic?

--Donald Trump on Barack Obama, 2011

*****

Now it's Saturday, and I am waiting for the first swim meet of 2020 to begin. We just finished the timers' briefing (mercifully short this time) and we're watching the dive meet. I'll be on duty in 15 minutes.

A young diver just executed what looked like a very good dive, but what do I know? Nothing.

Well, not nothing. I know all about timing. This might be the 100th time that I have stood on a pool deck with a stopwatch around my neck, and that stopwatch is not just an accessory, l tell you what. Timing is serious business and they don't just let anyone do it. Well, they do, actually. But they shouldn't.

Did you complete the training course?
No? Then put down that stopwatch. 

Warm-ups have commenced so we'll be underway in five minutes or so. My son is hard to spot. He's one of eight or nine orange capped, goggled kids sharing a warm-up lane. They're hard to tell apart. But he looked over at me as he was climbing out of the pool and gave me a quick teenage boy nod of recognition. He never fails to acknowledge his mother. He's a good boy.

OK, it's go time.

Here's an insider tip. If you're going to time at a swim meet, try to get yourself positioned on an outside lane. We have had no swimmers in our lane for the last three events so I have all the time in the world.

*****

I thought that my eyesight was bad, but one of my fellow timers just asked to see the order of events, and she held that clipboard as far away as her arm could stretch. I thought that she was going to throw out her shoulder.

*****


Seriously, that made me feel so much better about my own terrible terrible eyesight. Next time I introduce myself to someone, I’ll say that my name is Claire, but that all my friends call me Hawkeye.

*****

It’s Monday now. I watched the Golden Globes last night; or rather, I half-watched it and half did other things. A few observations:

1. Ricky Gervais: There’s a difference between a fearless, flame-throwing, free-thinking speaker of truth to power and a jerk. Mr. Gervais is the latter, and boring.
2. Olivia Colman: Yay! She’s so lovely, and her dress and overall look were among my very favorites. 
3. Patricia Arquette: Why? Why did you have to mention him? It was a pretty Trump-free evening until you took the stage. Why can’t you guys understand that paying him no mind is the very worst thing you can do to him? No, I don’t think that celebrities should just shut up and play or act or sing or whatever they do--I just think that Donald Trump and his followers live for the idea that the crazy radical left is obsessed with Trump, and you prove them right every time you attack him at an awards show. Oh, and I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: It doesn’t take that much courage to criticize Donald Trump at a Hollywood gathering. Sheesh.
4. Michelle Williams: Anyone who is “pro-choice” should be appalled and outraged that this poor young woman felt that her only hope of achieving her dreams lay in the “choice” of ending her child’s life. This isn’t a choice. This is women, once again, forced to conform to the unreasonable demands of a working world built by and for men. As they say on the Internet, let’s do better, shall we?

High school swim season is already halfway over, but awards season is just getting started. I only saw a handful of movies in 2019, but the Oscars are right around the corner so I’ll have to catch up. How else will I write meaningless and ill-informed reviews and half-baked commentary? They let anyone time at a swim meet. They let ANYONE write a blog.