It's a bag that I normally carry on the weekend or while traveling, and so I guess I associate it with freedom and leisure. But it also has a near-perfect combination of beauty and practicality that make carrying my daily necessities both easy and pleasing.
*****
When I was in Ireland in March, I bought an Aran sweater. It's not a traditional fisherman-style pullover sweater; it's a hooded cardigan with a zipper, cable-knit merino wool in a beautiful dark wine color. It is not only my favorite sweater, it's my favorite article of clothing of any type. When I put it on, I feel like a turtle, safe and comfortable in its neat and perfectly fitting shell. I wish I could wear that sweater every day; but soon it will be too warm, and I'll have to put it away until next fall.
*****
Here's how much I love this sweater. I'm actually happy that today is about 15 degrees colder than the weather forecast predicted, because I can wear it again. I'm wearing it right now. My son had a baseball game and I multi-tasked my way through it, writing several newsletter articles in record time. I thought for a moment that the game and the surrounding activity had helped me to concentrate, in some counter-intuitive distraction-as-a-tool-of-focus way. Then I realized that it was probably the sweater.
*****
Whenever I find a piece of clothing or an accessory that I really love, I try to find another--or more than another--just like it. I think how nice it would be to feel safely shelled like a turtle, every day; or to carry my things every day in a never-leave-home-without-it go bag that makes me feel like Queen Elizabeth II on casual Friday. I looked at some more Aran sweaters online, but I don't want another one--I just one a dozen more of the very one that I have, so that I always have the perfect sweater. My bag is also still available online, in six other colors, but I only really love the one I have. So why do I keep thinking about another sweater, or another bag?
*****
I always tell my sons that, contrary to what the world might tell them, that we're not necessarily meant to feel good and healthy and confident and capable every minute of every day. We're not meant to feel our best all the time. That's the point--you still have to do whatever it is you do. You still have to get up out of bed and do your job or go to school or take care of your family or maybe all of the above and more, no matter how good or bad or indifferent you might feel.
Most of the world doesn't feel so great most of the time. Most of the people in the world, I would guess, are wearing clothes that aren't quite right. Or they're having a bad hair day. Or they feel too fat or too skinny or too old or too not-right in whatever way. But they still put one foot in front of the other, they do what they have to do, and they get up and do it again the next day.
And what exactly is the point of all of that? What does that have to do with a sweater or a handbag or the price of tea in China?
I guess it's that a quest for the perfect sweater, the perfect thing to wear every day in every circumstance, or the bag that will carry everything you could ever possibly need, is really just a hedge against feeling bad. It's a way to avoid the truth, that it's a fallen world and that sometimes, we're supposed to feel bad.
But sometimes, we're supposed to feel good. Sometimes, everything is supposed to come together. Sometimes, after days of rain and gloom and too much work and too little sleep and zero fun, you sleep through the night and the sun comes out and you finish your work for the day and you walk in the sunshine and everything seems right. Like a turtle in its shell. Like the Queen and her handbag, with everything she needs, just when she needs it. Like exactly the right sweater.
*****
When I was in Ireland in March, I bought an Aran sweater. It's not a traditional fisherman-style pullover sweater; it's a hooded cardigan with a zipper, cable-knit merino wool in a beautiful dark wine color. It is not only my favorite sweater, it's my favorite article of clothing of any type. When I put it on, I feel like a turtle, safe and comfortable in its neat and perfectly fitting shell. I wish I could wear that sweater every day; but soon it will be too warm, and I'll have to put it away until next fall.
*****
Here's how much I love this sweater. I'm actually happy that today is about 15 degrees colder than the weather forecast predicted, because I can wear it again. I'm wearing it right now. My son had a baseball game and I multi-tasked my way through it, writing several newsletter articles in record time. I thought for a moment that the game and the surrounding activity had helped me to concentrate, in some counter-intuitive distraction-as-a-tool-of-focus way. Then I realized that it was probably the sweater.
*****
Whenever I find a piece of clothing or an accessory that I really love, I try to find another--or more than another--just like it. I think how nice it would be to feel safely shelled like a turtle, every day; or to carry my things every day in a never-leave-home-without-it go bag that makes me feel like Queen Elizabeth II on casual Friday. I looked at some more Aran sweaters online, but I don't want another one--I just one a dozen more of the very one that I have, so that I always have the perfect sweater. My bag is also still available online, in six other colors, but I only really love the one I have. So why do I keep thinking about another sweater, or another bag?
*****
I always tell my sons that, contrary to what the world might tell them, that we're not necessarily meant to feel good and healthy and confident and capable every minute of every day. We're not meant to feel our best all the time. That's the point--you still have to do whatever it is you do. You still have to get up out of bed and do your job or go to school or take care of your family or maybe all of the above and more, no matter how good or bad or indifferent you might feel.
Most of the world doesn't feel so great most of the time. Most of the people in the world, I would guess, are wearing clothes that aren't quite right. Or they're having a bad hair day. Or they feel too fat or too skinny or too old or too not-right in whatever way. But they still put one foot in front of the other, they do what they have to do, and they get up and do it again the next day.
And what exactly is the point of all of that? What does that have to do with a sweater or a handbag or the price of tea in China?
I guess it's that a quest for the perfect sweater, the perfect thing to wear every day in every circumstance, or the bag that will carry everything you could ever possibly need, is really just a hedge against feeling bad. It's a way to avoid the truth, that it's a fallen world and that sometimes, we're supposed to feel bad.
But sometimes, we're supposed to feel good. Sometimes, everything is supposed to come together. Sometimes, after days of rain and gloom and too much work and too little sleep and zero fun, you sleep through the night and the sun comes out and you finish your work for the day and you walk in the sunshine and everything seems right. Like a turtle in its shell. Like the Queen and her handbag, with everything she needs, just when she needs it. Like exactly the right sweater.
No comments:
Post a Comment