And what's the street name for this stuff?

I'm not cut out to be a drug user.

I woke up today with pain at the intersection of my neck and shoulder.  The pain grew worse throughout the morning, making it hard for me to turn my head, bend over, or really do anything at all other than sit still.  This not being a day on which sitting still is an option, I took a naproxen sodium, and then an hour or so later, took another one.  It didn't make the slightest difference.

Tylenol, I thought.  I can combine Tylenol with the NSAID and that should help.  I was out of Tylenol, unfortunately, so I ran to the store to buy some (and since when does CVS sell $50 face creams?  I digress, as usual.) Only after I arrived home (CVS is very close by, but there was no way that I was leaving the house again) did I realize that I had purchased Tylenol PM (or rather, a generic, CVS version.)  Desperate, I took two anyway, thinking that the sleep ingredient couldn't possibly be potent enough to make me really drowsy.

Wrong!  So wrong.  I wasn't drowsy at first, just verrrrrry slow.  I was watching myself type, and as I completed edits, I checked the clock and saw that I wasn't taking any longer than usual to correct this particular author's work.  I just felt as though my movements and thoughts and everything around me had been dropped into a vat of thick, viscous liquid.  Molasses, maybe?  A-ha!  I get that now; slow as molasses.

Finally, the urge to sleep became too overwhelming to ignore, so despite looming deadlines, I was forced to lie down for an hour.  I'm awake now, though groggy and dimwitted (more so than usual, I mean.)  Supreme irony #3,478: The sleep ingredient in Tylenol PM is actually exceedingly effective. My neck, though, still hurts like hell on fire.