Middlemarching

It was a beautiful day yesterday, unseasonably spring-y and mild. I went for a walk at lunchtime, two quick turns around the track, exchanging greetings with a few medical students running in their PT gear. 

After a few days of deliberately slow reading, I finally finished Middlemarch. It was just as I had hoped for Mary and Fred, and even Dorothea and Will ended up together, against considerable odds. Happy endings all around, and you had to keep reading until the very very end. 

I thought about Middlemarch yesterday as I made my second pass around the track. When Dorothea refused a carriage from Middlemarch back to Lowick, how long a walk would it have been? A mile? Five miles? A few meters? I hoped she would have had a balmy early spring day for her walk, no matter how long or short. 

*****

I loved Middlemarch, and I love Dorothea Brooke, who is almost perfect, almost too good to be true, but not quite, thanks to her impulsive and slightly megalomanic nature. Dorothea is virtuous, generous, kind, selfless, idealistic, uninterested in material wealth and comfort; and of course, she’s beautiful. But she is also inflexible (even rigid) and convinced of her own moral superiority. But maybe these aren’t even flaws - Dorothea really is morally superior to most of her fellow Middlemarchers so why should she not be sure of herself? And why should she be flexible on the question of truth versus falsehood? Some things are not up for debate. 

*****

I’m in the middle of minor but troublesome controversies on two separate fronts (paid work and volunteer work), and I find myself wondering WWDD? What would Dorothea do? I’m pretty sure that I’m right in both of these debates, neither of which involve matters of great importance, but both of which will have measurable impact on my work. It’s kind of a long story (that’s the only kind I know how to tell) but it boils down to this: I have to convince one person to do something, and I have to convince another person not to do something. This is all I can say. Dorothea would use all of the tools at her disposal - her social status, her wealth, her youth and beauty, her impeccable reputation - to convince others to do her bidding. Dorothea and I don’t have much in common except the impeccable reputation, but I’m also pretty good at talking people around and convincing them to see things my way, even without the benefit of beauty and wealth. I’ll report back. 

*****

One down, one to go. I managed to quiet one of these teapot tempests, and although I didn’t get exactly what I needed, I did get a clear path forward. The second one is a little more sticky. I might ignore it until it goes away. This is exactly the opposite of what Dorothea would do but as we have already established, Dorothea is not just a paragon of virtue; she is also an impulsive megalomaniac with a messiah complex. As much as I love Dorothea, it’s not always a good idea to follow her lead. It’s not always a good idea to do what she would do. It wasn’t even a good idea for her to do what she would do. I mean, everyone told her not to marry Mr. Casaubon, and she didn’t listen, and we all saw how that turned out, didn’t we? I admire Dorothea very much, but she’s not a role model for middle-aged, middle class ladies in the 21st century. 

*****

My first problem is pretty much solved now, and the second one seems much less bothersome than it did two days ago. Dorothea would have attacked it head on and maybe she’d have solved it but maybe she’d have made it worse. We don’t know, because Dorothea isn’t real and even if she was, she’d be long dead. I acted on my first instinct, which was to pretend that the whole situation didn’t exist and you know what? I’m pretty sure it DOESN’T exist, at least not anymore. My plan worked. I was right. 

And it’s Friday now, a beautiful sunny afternoon. Our daffodils are out now, and I’m starting to see a few crocuses and tulips, too. The cherry blossoms are in the very earliest bloom stages and everything looks bright and fresh and hopeful. Dorothea and I would agree, I’m sure, that today is a perfect day for a spring-is-around-the-corner walk around the neighborhood. I’m finished solving problems for today. I have some flowers to look at.