Mundane

I’m taking a break for a moment from the all-Ukraine all-the-time media consumption that has occupied my few spare waking hours during the last few days. I am almost finished writing something that I have been working on a few words at a time for the last few weeks. It’s almost there. It’s almost done. 

Writing is a puzzle, isn’t it? I start by just writing down what I think or feel about something, and then I walk away from it for a while. Then I start rearranging, moving words within sentences and sentences within paragraphs and whole paragraphs within the page. I keep reading and fine-tuning until I either decide that the thing is pretty good or that it’s as good as it’s ever going to get and I just put it out there, or that it’s utter bilge and swill and will never see the light of day. This thing that I’ve been working on is almost as good as it’s ever going to get, and now I just have to decide if it’s apropos of anything at all in this DEFCON 1 world that we are living in right at this moment. 

But of course it is. Not so much in the sense that my stupid opinion is so important that I must put it in front of the world for the world’s own benefit but because as long as the world is still turning and as long as we have even a day or even a minute of blessed everyday life, we have to live it. I went to Mass yesterday, where we prayed for Ukraine. And then I did housework and read a book and went for a walk and went to my son’s high school swim team banquet and watched him beam with pride when the coach named him one of the two captains of the boys’ team for next year. 

It's Monday, so I’m working because everybody works on Monday. I'm working, but I'm asking myself: How important is SharePoint automation right now? How important is business intelligence and data visualization? I’m doing some cleanup work on a database, a job that is so dreadfully tedious that I make deals with myself. Fix ten items and then you can walk away from your desk. Fix eight more, and you can stretch. This works, by the way. The job is insanely tedious, but I am getting it done. And while we’re on the subject, how important is it that this data is correct and current? How important is it that the dashboard connected to this database visualizes up-to-date and valid insights? 

The answer to all of these questions is that I don’t really know. Compared to the scale and magnitude of what’s going on in Ukraine and Afghanistan and in every other global hotspot, probably not at all. But I can’t stack up my everyday responsibilities at work and at home against global struggles for freedom from fear and oppression. If I did, then I’d never do anything, and the people who are fighting for the right to live a normal boring life would be doing it in vain.

When I feel guilty that I’m safe and free, I think about what the suffering people in Ukraine would tell me to do right now. Would they say “Stop, give up, abandon hope, don’t bother with your work or your family or your life because it’s all pointless and we’re all going to die?” 

Would they say "How dare you? How dare you sit at your desk and respond to emails and think about your dinner plans and wonder if you'll have time to go for a walk today while the sun is still shining?" 

Or would they say “Are you crazy? Do your job! Cook a meal! Take a walk! Congratulate your son! Read a book or watch a movie or go to the theater or visit your friends or stand in line at the grocery store or fill your gas tank or pay your bills! Do all of those things! I would do anything to be in your place right now, doing mundane daily tasks, living everyday life.” 

I think I know what they’d say. I think I know what I’d say in their place. It’s time to get to work. It’s the only thing I can do.