Dressed for the occasion

 

Like everyone else in the United States with a mobile device and a social media account (in other words, everyone except the former President), I joined the “Put Bernie Anywhere” fun this week. My effort appears below. I know, I thought it was hilarious, too. I wanted to put Bernie on my living room couch, too, but I know what will happen if I try that. I’ll spend two hours trying to tweak the photo and crop out the background to make sure that Bernie is positioned perfectly. And then I’ll notice some flaw; maybe a crooked picture on the wall, or a cushion that’s crushed at an odd angle, and all of a sudden, I’ll have spent an entire afternoon on an internet joke. But I digress. 

I am once again asking Bernie Sanders to get off my lawn.

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Jackets rank almost as highly as handbags on my obsession list. I think about jackets all the time. When I’m out walking or at Mass or at the grocery store (almost the only places I go right now), I notice other people’s jackets immediately. A jacket is almost like a portable home, like a turtle’s shell, for its wearer. Jackets have pockets to carry things, and a shell or insulation or both to protect against the cold and wet. With color and stylistic details, jackets combine with the wearer’s outfit and accessories to express something about that person, either intentionally or unintentionally. I never get tired of looking at people and their jackets. 

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Thanks to the damn ‘rona, I am now addicted to British murder mysteries and police procedural dramas. I can’t get enough of British police detectives getting in and out of cars, interviewing witnesses and suspects, checking their smartphones while they drive on the wrong side of the road, always wearing jackets. 

And by the way, stay the hell out of the UK. People are always getting murdered there. 

Female police detectives in British TV shows always rotate among at least three or four jackets, mostly utility-style jackets with lots of pockets, alternating occasionally with dressier, more formal jackets. Even before the pandemic made it necessary for me to work at home all the time, I was definitely a utility jacket person. My life is, then and now, a utility jacket life. But I do like to imagine myself in an Armani blazer or a Burberry trench; or maybe something even fancier, like a Chanel jacket or a perfectly fitted full-length dress coat. 

The point is that few jackets can do everything. I think sometimes that I’d like to have just one jacket that is suitable for all occasions and all weather conditions and all moods and all circumstances. I have at least a dozen jackets, and they cover most of my requirements, but not all.Maybe that’s why I keep shopping for jackets. 

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Bernie Sanders, however, seems to be perfectly satisfied with one jacket. I think the famous Inauguration Day jacket is a Columbia. I recognized the sleeve label. Columbia is the most utilitarian of American jacket brands. I have several Columbia jackets, and they are well-made, reasonably priced, and practical. A Columbia jacket keeps you warm when it’s cold and dry when it’s wet. They’re also not very stylish. You can’t have everything. 

My son and I talked about Bernie and his jacket and his crazy hand-knit mittens. The jacket, I suggested, was a gesture of solidarity. Bernie Sanders is not a poor man, but he understands the realities of poor and working-class life in the United States better than most politicians; and many poor and working-class people make do with one jacket or coat, for all conditions and occasions. People who criticized Bernie for failing to dress for the occasion are missing the point. He was representing a large percentage of Americans who, if invited to the Inauguration, would have had to wear whatever coat they happened to own, appropriate or not. 

That, however, is not why everyone loves this picture so much. First of all, it’s hilarious. As one internet joker put it, it looked like Bernie was stopping by the Inauguration, but it wasn’t his whole day. He just grabbed his Columbia jacket off the hook by the garage door, threw his keys in his pocket, and went out to run errands, including a quick stop at the Capitol to watch the swearing-in. No big deal. Whatever. 

But there’s more to it than that. Everything about that picture suggests a man who is completely comfortable with himself in every circumstance. He’s not thinking about himself at all, in fact. He’s in a particular moment, on a cold day, and his clothes and body language reflect practical preparation for the circumstances, and nothing more. He looks neither self-conscious about being too casually dressed, nor self-satisfied about refusing to adhere to traditional Inauguration Day dress standards. Except for warmth, he really doesn’t care about what he’s wearing. Who doesn’t aspire to that kind of insouciance? Who doesn’t want to be that cool? 

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That’s what I’m going to think about, next time I feel like I need just the right coat or shoes or dress or handbag for an occasion, if there ever is another occasion, if this pandemic ever ends. 

Still, if I ever attend an Inauguration, I’m going to buy a dressy coat.