Predator

I’ve been sounding this warning for years, and no one pays attention, but here we go again. The deer are going to turn predator, and then we’re all screwed. Even more so than we already are, I mean. 

Today, I was working at my desk in front of the window, when a deer sauntered into the side yard, and began helping itself to the leaves on one of my neighbor’s trees. It’s a little tree; and there’s a bird feeder hanging from one of the branches. The bird feeder must be filled with some gourmet birdseed because that tree is quite the social hub for our avian friends. The deer didn’t molest the bird feeder. It reared up on its hind legs to eat some of the foliage. I’d never seen a deer do that before, so I very quietly and slowly grabbed my phone and very carefully, inch by inch, pulled up the blinds so I could get a good shot. 

Help yourself, asshole. Don't mind me. 

Despite my ninja-like stealth, the thing sensed my presence and movement; but  instead of running away like sensible deer used to do not so long ago, it turned and stared at me. For several seconds, in fact, this nervy deer stood its ground and regarded me with a mixture of disdain and indignation that was a little unsettling. I thought for a moment that it might be wise to move away from the window in case the deer decided to try and charge at me, but I didn’t want to give it the satisfaction of watching me back down, so I stood my ground too. After a short standoff, the deer lost interest in me, and went about its business of sampling from my neighbor’s garden. I hope it ate some poison ivy. 

That's right. I said what I said.